


You are Our Parents, Aren't You?

by Mossclaw



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: And then this happened, The implied Aziraphale/Crowley is if you squint tbh, how the fourhorsemen came to be, i thought "how did war get aziraphale's sword", no betas we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:15:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26110246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mossclaw/pseuds/Mossclaw
Summary: Their first clue really should have been when War showed up with Aziraphale’s sword.Granted, they were who they were so they probably just chalked it up to humans being fickle things and using swords in war, so War obviously ended up with it.Their second clue should have been when the Four Horsemen looked at them a little too knowingly.But again they were who they were, and it was a rather stressful situation to begin with, so they just ignored it and assumed it was because they were defying orders.Their third clue really should have been when the horsemen showed up at Aziraphale’s shop after the Armageddidn’t and asked for refuge.They were about to refuse, until Pollution made the comment of “Aren’t human parents supposed to take care of their children? And you do take after those humans, so shouldn’t you take care of us?”
Relationships: Azirapahle & The Fourhorsemen, Aziraphale & Crowley, Aziraphale/Crowley (implied), Crowley & The Fourhorsemen
Kudos: 47





	You are Our Parents, Aren't You?

**Author's Note:**

> I started this over a year ago, finished it in early April of this year, left it for months, and then found it today and thought "Hmm I should post this" so apologies if it seems weird or off, as I barely proofread it.

Their first clue really should have been when War showed up with Aziraphale’s sword.

Granted, they were who they were so they probably just chalked it up to humans being fickle things and using swords in war, so War obviously ended up with it.

Their second clue should have been when the Four Horsemen looked at them a little too knowingly.

But again they were who they were, and it was a rather stressful situation to begin with, so they just ignored it and assumed it was because they were defying orders.

Their third clue really should have been when the horsemen showed up at Aziraphale’s shop after the Armageddidn’t and asked for refuge. 

They were about to refuse, until Pollution made the comment of “Aren’t human parents supposed to take care of their children? And you do take after those humans, so shouldn’t you take care of us?”

***

The first of them was Death. Most think that Death was another creation of Her, and, if you want to be technical, they aren’t wrong, she did create everything, but they are wrong when you get into the how of the whole thing. 

Abel was the first death on the planet, so others would assume Death was a creation of his, in his last moments, but then they would be wrong again.

Death was a creation made from the actions of an angel, who let Cain and Abel’s parents out of the garden with a sword, and a demon, who made an off hand comment to Cain about how Abel’s offering looked better than his.

The book written by and about Her would say that Cain used a rock, because that was the story everyone stuck to, but in truth, Cain, with the influence of a demon, used the sword, a weapon of an angel, to kill his brother.

From that, Death was born. 

(Later, when told, that demon would make a comment about how it was kinda funny that Death was born, as that seemed like a paradox didn’t it? Or maybe an oxymoron? And the angel would tell him that now was not the time for that.)

***

War was next. One would think that since Cain used the sword, that would be Death’s belonging, but after he used it, Cain kept the sword, and went out, and met others of his kind, who, after he died, would use the sword in battle.

Not to say that humans were the creators of War, no. At least not the first one. After that, they did well on their own on creating reasons to fight, but the first one, no that was not their own doing, not completely.

Years after the Death of Abel, that same angel and demon were in a small village, now forgotten to human history, and there was a small argument between two of the leaders in the village. The whys and the hows of the argument are now forgotten as well, or at the very least, the two supernatural beings who were there won’t say why. 

All that’s important is that the angel was on the side of one leader, while the demon was on the other’s. They both influenced their side into believing they were right, but neither could have predicted the angel’s leader not only having the sword, but using it to sneak into the home of the other leader and killing him. And they truly couldn’t have predicted this leading to the entire village going to battle with one another, and certainly did not think they would get other village’s into their fight. 

A being came from this, but did not have a name, as this was more serious than any other fight or argument that had ever been at this point, so was not truly born. Eventually, the human’s made a name for it.

And War was born, and she claimed her weapon.

***

Famine came soon after, as soon a victor came from War, and War herself began to travel. The victors were rejoicing in their victory, and that same demon and angel came back to the area, having vacated while all the chaos was around. The demon suggested that the victors should celebrate and not do much for a while, as they deserved it, and the angel was inclined to agree, if only so he could also partake in celebratory feasts. 

Unfortunately, these suggestions came before winter, when nothing would grow. By the time someone realized, it was too late, and most everything had been eaten or had spoiled, and whatever hadn’t was not much. 

It would have been hard, but durable, if not for the greed that humanity was inherent to have. Those who fought thought that they deserved most of what was left, as payback, while others said that those who actually knew how to grow food should get some.

However, those that fought were the ones that fought and won for a reason, and they got the biggest portion of what was left, with everyone else getting meager portions. And when winter passed and spring came back, if the warriors found themselves with little else but themselves, well, they could only blame themselves. 

They asked the demon and angel for help, not knowing who they were, only knowing that they had made it through the winter without being worse for wear. But, the demon was mad that they let children die, and the angel was upset that they had let their fellow humans suffer, so they declined, and they left. And the warriors knew nothing of growing food, so suffered themselves, and starved. 

And Famine was born.

***

Honestly, Pestilence, who was next, was an honest accident. They came from the result of a drunken night that the angel and demon thought to themselves “What would happen if we tried to do each other's jobs, but on the same person?” 

So, one person was the subject of a drunk demon’s blessing, as well as a drunk angel’s temptation. Obviously, there was some muck up somewhere in the process, and the person got sick. 

So Pestilence was born.

(“Where are they anyway?” the demon would ask years later. “They’ve retired and are hanging out somewhere, we don’t really know.” the youngest Horseman would reply.)

***

The last was Pollution. Centuries after the original Horseman were made, humanity had evolved. They had created trash on their own, but hadn’t really done much with it, and were, for once in their existence, being responsible. 

And then came the angel and demon. At a certain playwright’s theatre, an angel and a demon were watching a play. It had just become popular, and there were many people watching.

As they were leaving, the angel, who had been eating, handed the demon the container of what he had been eating, asking him to throw it away. The demon just dropped it, and when the angel handed him his other trash, threw it into a nearby puddle. 

That might not have been much, but, unawares to them, others were watching them, and as humans are ought to do, followed suit. The angel and the demon soon left that town, but their influence had already taken hold. Soon, many people were not being responsible with their trash, and soon it mucked up not only nearby puddles, but rivers and forests. 

So Pollution was born.

***

Back in the present, said Angel and Demon were standing shocked at the explanations given by the Four Horseman, when Crowley realized something.

“Hey, why do you all even need refuge anyway?”

“With Armageddon having been stopped, we are no longer necessary as we are, and both sides want to either destroy us or use us in ways we do not want.” replied the oldest of them.

“And with humanity having a hand in our creation as well, we thought that we should go to the two beings who care for humanity more than they do either side.” followed the next of them. 

“It helped that you are, in humanity’s terms, our parents as well.” continued the next. 

“So will you help us or not?” finished the youngest of them.

Aziraphale and Crowley looked at each other. 

“Might as well.” said Crowley, shrugging.

Aziraphale sighed. “Fine. But don’t mess up any of the books, and do NOT sell them.” he said before turning and walking away, gesturing for them to follow, which Pollution happily did so. 

“But you run a booksto-” began Famine, before being shushed by Crowley. 

“This will be interesting.” War said to Death, who just sighed.

“Yes, it will.” he said, before following the rest into the back of the store.


End file.
